The Ins and Outs of Invisibility
by kperdnusse
Summary: Alien tech can be useful. Jack prefers fun. Ianto goes along with it. Spoilers for Pack Animals.


Spoilers for Pack Animals; some bits may not make sense if you haven't read it. Tiny one for Trace Memory and possible for episodes up A Day in the Death (2.08)

Warning: Fake science. Tosh is brilliant, I am not. Pretend what she says is possible. Also M/M pairing. In Torchwood. I know.

Disclaimer: No Russell, if you can't look after things they get taken away. You've still got Gwen, play with her. But not on my TV.

A/N: This came from a throwaway line in a massively long fic I'm writing, but it wouldn't fit that and the bunnies insisted, so it's here.

* * *

Toshiko was in her element after the Achenbrite clean-up. She'd worked out how to stop the Visualiser bringing them all those extra Weevils (like they didn't have enough to do) and had moved on to the Invisibilator™.

Hmm.

Maybe talk to Ianto about that; he'd probably want to stick some obscure word in the middle of its name.

She'd looked at the settings and found out that it had been temporarily removing atoms from the visible spectrum (which was why they could still x-ray Ianto), but that it would work on any wavelength frequency. _Probably not worth trying to explain that to anyone_, she decided, and was just pondering over whether or not Jack might possibly understand with his 'future knowledge', when she was interrupted by a shout.

"Oi! Tosh?"

"Yes, Owen?" _Please don't make look at the cross-section of the dead man again..._

"How's that Invisibley Thingy-majiggy doing? Can I test it on my dead bloke yet?"

_Phew, he's getting rid of it._ "I think so."

She joined him in the autopsy bay, averting her eyes from the half-invisible man. "It's this button here, and then you turn this ..." she indicated, "... to adjust the time the object is invisible for. You can also change the wavelength it's working in by ..."

"Yeah, yeah – what I meant was can _you_ make him reappear yet?"

"Fine," she huffed.

Gwen, who had been observing their exchange and wanted to assuage her curiosity, appeared on the balcony overlooking autopsy to watch.

Tosh began her countdown.

"Right ... three ... two ... one ..." She turned the dials on the machine to the appropriate settings, and pressed the button.

"Well done Tosh," Gwen smiled. "It's nice not to see a cross-section of his innards now."

"I know – that's the main reason I prayed this would work," Tosh agreed.

"Aww! But that was the good bit," whined Owen. Tosh and Gwen shared their usual 'isn't Owen revolting sometimes?' look.

"Just because you spend all day with your hands inside dead aliens –" started Gwen.

"Yeah, which is why this is nice," cut in Owen. "Human: I can deal with them easily."

Tosh sighed. "Yes ... well, anyway ... I've worked out how to make any of us invisible, either for a set amount of time or until we reset it. I was going to tell Jack, but I haven't seen him for a while." She glanced around the hub and over to Jack's office. "It could be useful for Weevil hunting and suchlike. If the Weevil can't see what it's trying to kill..."

"Then we're a lot less likely to get injured! I like that idea," Gwen nodded enthusiastically. "You should tell him ASAP."

"That won't be safe," grumped Owen. "I saw him follow the teaboy into the Archives, maybe ... half an hour ago? I think we all know what they'll be doing..." he shuddered.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Typical."

"He's just happy that he can actually _see_ Ianto again," Tosh reminded them.

"Should my ears be burning?" Jack's booming voice carried from the doorway leading to the Archives.

"He's usually gone longer than that," muttered Owen to the girls, as he took in the Captain's kiss-swollen lips, slightly messed-up hair, unbuttoned shirt and rumpled clothes.

"You time it, then?" whispered Gwen, smirking at him. Owen looked slightly miffed, but Tosh coughed over him before he could reply.

"If we could stay on topic..." she murmured, "Jack: I've worked out the Invisibilator. Could be useful for Weevil hunting..."

"Yeah I guess. No descriptor though? You should ask Ianto about it. Invisibilator is fine but it needs another word. Preferably with vowels." His expression began to slip into 'Dreamy', but he pulled himself back. "Ianto likes rhyming and alliteration, so this could be a nice challenge for him." Jack looked a bit too happy.

"Erm ... yes. I was thinking about asking Ianto to help with the name actually," Tosh replied. "It might be better if we knew what it was originally intended for, though."

"Sex toy," Jack answered instantly. "Well, probably... I dated a girl once; she could turn invisible at will..." The team watched as his mind drifted to somewhere they really didn't want to follow.

"It would be safer if sex toy wasn't your stock answer," said Tosh, dragging him back to the present. "Didn't you say that about a ray gun once?"

"He did. It killed him," Ianto's voice called, coming up behind Jack, dressed as immaculately as ever. "It rather took the shine off things. Anyway," he whispered to Jack, "I'm not letting you find another way of cheating at naked hide-and-seek."

"Aw, come on Ianto! The Karjaniax aphrodisiac powder worked out fine, didn't it? Invisible sex will be fun. Tosh made it safe, right?" Jack turned to her, as the team directed 'TMI' expressions at him.

"Um... yes, it's safe. I tested it on plenty of different materials around the hub, both organic and inorganic, and their atomic structure was unaffected."

"See?" Jack crowed triumphantly, tuning back to Ianto. "Anyway, you survived invisibility before."

Ianto groaned. "If I must," he sighed.

"Any of you want to join in?" leered Jack.

"Right, that's me done for the day, I think," grumbled Owen, as he started for the door. He was quickly followed by Gwen and Tosh.

"No! Tosh! Can you stay? You gotta show me how it works first," Jack reminded her, as the familiar leer reappeared and directed itself at Ianto.

Ianto simply rolled his eyes. "Maybe I'll come with you. Owen, fancy a pin... – no you don't. DVD? I've still got that one you wanted to borrow?"

"Nah, sorry mate. If you leave, he'll be all horny tomorrow and no-one wants that – whether it's the angry version, or the one that drags you down to the Archives all day. People still need coffee, and there'll be none," Owen explained with a fake sympathetic sigh.

"_You_ won't be needing coffee," huffed Ianto. "Gwen?" he pleaded.

"Night in with Rhys. He's still upset about his car. Sorry. Anyway, you'll probably have fun. How different can it be?" She smiled at him as she escaped with Owen.

Meanwhile, Tosh had just shown Jack how to set the timer. "Aim it like this" – she demonstrated – "and when you want to turn the pair of you invisible press this button. Now may I escape?" she begged, her cheeks slightly pink.

"Sure Tosh. See you tomorrow."

"Bye Tosh." Ianto hugged her.

"Bye guys, see you." She smirked. _Maybe I won't if you have too much fun._

As the cog door clanked shut, Jack looked at Ianto and smirked. "What would you have done if Owen had accepted your offer and dragged you in to a DVD night instead of letting you stay here and play?"

"I would have faked a power cut, yawned a lot, told him I was knackered now I'd got home, but that he could borrow the DVD if he wanted."

"You really do have a plan for everything, don't you?" smiled Jack, admiringly. "What's the problem with letting _them_ know you're a bit kinky, though? Wouldn't it be easier than asking to escape with them when all you really want to do is stay?"

"My sex life is already public enough, thanks to you. Owen's already decided I'm kinky by proxy."

"He's just jealous that you can still have sex and he can't, Tiger Pants. Now come here – I've missed you."

"What? How?" Ianto was baffled. "We had sex twenty minutes ago," he sighed, being pulled into a tight embrace.

"Yeah, but round two is at least fifteen minutes overdue. Now kiss me," Jack pouted, petulant.

Ianto rolled his eyes, but gave in to Jack's demand anyway, quickly melting into the kiss. "If you want invisible sex, we have to be in your hole-of-a-room and naked before you use that thing. I am _not_ losing clothes to it," stated Ianto, coming up for air.

"In my hole," Jack grinned wolfishly. "I like it."

Ianto kissed him again to shut him up, and steered him backwards towards his office.

"You'll like it even more in a few minutes," Ianto murmured in a low voice, punctuating his words with kisses.

They kept kissing, breaking apart only to descend the ladder. As Ianto followed him down, Jack purred, "Do you like coming down my hole, Ianto?"

Ianto smirked at him. _Time to unleash those Beautiful Welsh Vowels._ "I do, sir – but you've already done that joke. Constant repetition of something – including most _activities_ – can lead to it becoming tiresome ... and I'd hate to get sick of it."

"Aw, Yan, you know what those Welsh vowels do to me," moaned Jack.

"Yes, sir, and you know calling me 'Yan' gets you decaff. Now I'm sure we can find a better use for your mouth than talking, so how about a bit of quiet and we'll see?"

Jack grinned and kissed him; Ianto's slightly bossy mood was such a turn-on. He sucked his way gently down Ianto's jaw until he reached the pulse point of his throat and left a love bite. Ianto moaned softly. "See?" he murmured. "_Much_ better."

"Yeah... but all of our clothes are in the way. Help?" Jack suggested as he removed Ianto's tie. "Why'd you put all this back on, anyway? You only needed your pants – maybe a shirt if you're being all modest again, but you really don't need to be."

"Nothing wrong with keeping up appearances, Jack. I know you don't care, but I'd rather not look like I've just been shagged when I need to be out there in front of everyone," Ianto replied as he slipped Jack's trousers from his hips, crouching before him and glancing up suggestively as he waited for him to step out of them.

"Aw, but the messy, Just-Been-Shagged look is hot on you! Anyway, it's not like they didn't know what we were doing," retorted Jack, flinging their shirts across the room while Ianto winced at the harsh treatment of his clothing.

"Yeah? And whose fault is that? You've been whinging all day about being horny and sex-deprived because, shock horror, we only had sex twice last night. Now come here and kiss me again," Ianto demanded as Jack sent their boxers flying, leaving them both naked. They kissed until they were breathless again. When they broke apart, panting, Jack went to retrieve the gadget from his pocket.

"Oh yeah ... you need to help Tosh with naming this. It's just the Invisibilator for now, so you can stick one of your quirky little adjectives next to it."

Ianto glared at him. "It may have escaped your attention, _Captain_, but my blood flow isn't really directed toward my brain right now – so use that stupid tech before I jump you and it breaks."

"Okay, hold still." Jack zapped them both and went to put the device back in his pocket. "Crap, I've lost you. Where'd you go? I wanna kiss you," he pouted.

"I'm gonna lie on the bed now. You should see it dip so you'll know where I am and you can lie next to me." Ianto climbed onto the bed as Jack watched for the mattress shifting, once again having to get used to being invisible and unable to see where his own limbs were heading.

Jack went to lie over where he thought Ianto was.

"That's not your head...." Jack realised. "I was gonna... oh," he moaned as the end of his sentence was lost to Ianto's mouth finding his cock and his lubed fingers probing his arse. "When did you find the lube anyway?" he gasped as a finger hit his prostate, then decided he didn't care, seeking out Ianto's erection.

Ianto let Jack's cock go with a pop. "This is weird," he frowned, "the lube's still visible."

"Yeah, it will be. Lemme see?"

"Well, while you're down there..." Ianto trailed off, handing Jack the tube.

Jack took it and swiped Ianto's still-wet cock. "Yeah, it does look weird. Cool." He tossed the lube aside and swivelled around on Ianto's hips, settling back down when they were facing each other. He leaned down to kiss Ianto, their mouths meeting as they found each other using the familiar touch of the other's body.

As their tongues finally met, Jack raised himself up and carefully lowered himself down onto Ianto's cock. They both moaned and stilled, adjusting to the feel of each other. When they were ready, Jack began moving, lifting himself, changing his angle slightly to hit his prostate and pressing back down.

As Ianto thrust up to meet Jack, he couldn't help but become entranced by the lube. "Jack, look," he said, "it's like it's floating ... but moving. Almost hypnotic."

"Yeah, Ianto, it's pretty," Jack gasped, "but if you can concentrate so hard on it, there's something we're not doing right." He leaned down to kiss Ianto, and they quickened their thrusts.

The room was quiet but for the sound of flesh on flesh, interspersed with frequent panting and the odd moan, as they enjoyed the purity of simply being together.

They cried each other's names as they climaxed, and Jack collapsed on top of Ianto. He whimpered as they rolled apart and Ianto's cock slipped from within him.

"Huh," muttered Ianto. "Come's invisible too."

"Don't care," said Jack, spooning behind him. "Relax now. Round three soon." He kissed Ianto's temple.

It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again as they lay there, holding each other.

"I've just had the best idea," grinned Jack as they basked in the afterglow.

"Not now. Save it for round three," murmured Ianto, petting him gently.

They were quiet for a while, temporarily sated and content just to hold each other a bit longer. When Jack raised his head again, Ianto noticed the leer had reappeared. "What now?" he sighed.

"Can I tell you my idea yet?"

"What is it? Will I be able to stand tomorrow?"

"We can have sex on everyone's desks and all the evidence will be invisible. They'll never know!" smirked Jack, delightedly evil.

Ianto considered it for a moment. "Um ... well ... we are invisible ...." he pondered.

That was all the invitation Jack needed.

Tosh, upon arriving at work the next day, was pleasantly surprised to find that the invisibility setting they'd used in their desperate and horny rush the evening before didn't actually work on the CCTV cameras.

_Very_ pleasantly surprised.


End file.
